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Separating Bonds: Coping with Emotional Breakups and Divorce

The deepest kinds of relationships are those that involve time and emotional investment. These are bonds that have been strengthened over time and experience together. However, there are times when even the deepest relationships just end. In these times, it isn’t just the couple affected, but even the people around them.

Break ups and divorce are examples of these emotional endings of a relationship. Events like these can trigger many negative feelings inside you and turn your whole world upside down. It’s important to remember that despite the stressful situation you are in, there is still some hope at the end of the day.

If you’re going through something similar, here are some ways to cope through an emotional experience like a breakup or divorce:

Recognize Your Feelings

No separation is painless and one of the worst things you can do is to deny your feelings. Breakups and divorce are some of the most stressful and painful situations you may find yourself in. It’s normal to feel lonely, angry, or lost during these times. Don’t deny these emotions. Whenever you go through something as heavy and emotional as a breakup or divorce, it’s important that you give yourself time to go through the stages of grief and recognize that what you feel is valid.

One way to help you process your feelings is by acknowledging the situation. Whether the separation was amiable or not, it’s important to acknowledge the positives and negatives of the relationship. Having a relationship coach, for example, can help you objectively process the situation. Knowing the objective situation will help you accept the feelings you’re experiencing right now.

An important thing to remember is that despite these feelings, life goes on. While it is important that you process your feelings, you have to remember to not let yourself be overwhelmed by them. Again, working with a relationship coach can help you find healthy coping mechanisms, as well as motivation to move forward.

Man hiking through a serene scene

Give Yourself a Break

An emotional separation such as a breakup or divorce often entails other complications. Aside from the fact that you might be losing someone special to you, you could also be facing loss of support (be it financial, emotional, or mental) and direction. After all, when you’re in a committed relationship, it’s inevitable to make plans together. With the separation, the loss of those plans might leave you directionless and confused.

At this point, you have to remember that it’s fine to want to take a break. You don’t have to force yourself to be fine when you experience a breakup or divorce. Allow yourself time to process the loss of your relationship.

Taking a break is different for everyone, but one thing that relationship coaches will agree on is that you should take a break from (or at least not jump right into) dating. Rebound relationships might feel good at the start, but it distracts you from properly processing your emotions. If the rebound relationship ends sourly, it adds more emotional turmoil for both you and the other party.

While taking a break, this is also the time to re-discover yourself. Pursue that hobby you’ve always wanted to try or travel to a place you’ve never been to before. Cliché as these may seem, experiences like these can give you a new perspective that you’ll need moving forward.

women talking

Spend Time with People

One of the most important things to have during a breakup or divorce is having a support system. After all, no man is an island and that doesn’t change when you go through a separation. In fact, now would be the perfect time to reach out to the people closest to you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and spend time with your support group.

With breakups and divorces, sometimes, you’re not the only one that needs to process the separation as well. Divorces, in particular, can be pretty difficult to manage especially if you have children together. When working through a separation like that, it’s important to check in with your children as well. Find support within each other and your loved ones to help you move forward.

Relationship coaches are also good support systems. Since they specialize in handling relationships, a good relationship coach can help you improve your existing relationships to enrich your life and to somewhat compensate for the loss brought by the separation. A relationship coach can also provide emotional and mental support for you as you process your emotions.

Look Forward to the Future

Ending any kind of relationship is hard. It involves a lot of emotions and may trigger anxiety and depression. Still, sometimes, the best way to move on is to look forward. What’s important to remember during these times is that you are not alone and that you will face the future with your loved ones by your side. After all, there’s always bound to be a silver lining within these gray clouds.

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