Building a solid relationship isn’t something that’s accomplished overnight. A relationship, whether platonic or romantic, has to stand the test of time before one can even dare call it successful. A happy relationship is one that involves ups and downs, and we’re not necessarily talking about extreme cases.
Do we think that a relationship without struggles can’t be called a successful relationship? Absolutely not! Do we think that a relationship that hasn’t been tested by time can triumph over future challenges? Honestly, there’s no way to tell.
So what can you do to ensure your relationship’s success? Whether or not you’ve been through the toughest times in your life with the person you’re in a relationship with, there’s still room for growing your capacity to be more inclusive in how you choose to love them. Here we list down 10 tips you can follow to achieve true relationship bliss:
Many relationship problems stem from a breach of trust. Truly, being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean that you trust your partner absolutely, especially if you’re just starting out. Remember, trust isn’t just built by being honest about mistakes. Trust is also allowing yourself to be vulnerable when sharing your fears, worries, and dreams. By being open to your partner about the things that you don’t share with just anyone else, you make room for building an unshakeable foundation with someone who knows everything about you.
Invest Time in a Shared Activity
Having separate hobbies is healthy. It allows you to be your own person and not lose yourself in the relationship. However, it’s important for you and your partner to find something that you both can enjoy together. It can be as simple as hanging out in a certain coffee shop or visiting a park once a week to watch people. It doesn’t have to be something big, it just has to be something that you both enjoy.
Shared activities can make your bond stronger. Additionally, these shared activities will also allow you to create beautiful memories that only the two of you can share.
Discover Each Other’s Love Languages
You’ve probably heard of the five love languages: acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch. But despite the popularity of this information, there’s one thing that most people don’t know, and that is that people have giving and receiving love languages and they don’t always match.
Here’s an example to explain better. When a person feels loved most when receiving gifts, that means their receiving love language is receiving gifts. It doesn’t automatically follow though that they express love through gift giving. The same person may show love through hugs and kisses, which means their giving love language is actually physical touch.
By learning these things about your partner as well as yourself, you open several opportunities for both of you to keep each other content and satisfied. It’s also important to note that not all people will be aware of their own giving and receiving love languages. But that shouldn’t stop you both from putting an effort into discovering together.
Work on Developing Your Financial Values Together
A huge part of separations nowadays has something to do with the inability to maintain financial peace. Differences in incomes or purchasing power can easily lead to trivial issues which can easily escalate into full blown fights. Disagreements involving money is a very tricky thing to navigate. That’s why it’s important to come to an agreement that sits well with both parties.
This is where developing similar financial values comes in handy. As a couple, especially if you’re sharing a home, you need to come up with unbreakable rules for your finances. Ask yourselves, how should you split expenses? Does the bigger earner chip in more? Is the bigger earner allowed to spend on lavish things because they end up with more extra money after paying bills? Or does the other partner get a say on it?
Complete transparency in money matters protects the relationship from changes in the future. Having this talk guarantees that no matter who has what, the relationship will always come first. Never forget that if your ultimate goal is to share a life together, then you must tackle this difficult subject to avoid disagreements.
Set Reasonable Expectations
It’s normal to enter a relationship feeling hopeful about the future. But you need to avoid being too idealistic and having unrealistic expectations. Remember that your partner is every bit as human as you, and expecting them to do something that is simply not practical or impossible is just going to put unnecessary strain on your relationship.
Be mature about the things you expect. Communication is important but asking your partner to give you a play by play of their whole day is toxic behavior. Asking them to turn their lives around for you is not just unfair but also terribly unhealthy. Just think of it this way, if you’re not willing to do the same things you expect your partner to do, then you shouldn’t be asking for it in the first place.
Never Forego Intimacy
When people hear the word intimacy, it’s common for them to think that it has something to do with a sexual relationship, but that isn’t the case. There’s also what we call emotional or physical intimacy. It’s important to work on these things to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner.
Physical intimacy can be something as small as holding hands when walking or hugging after a tiring day. Bonus benefit: physical intimacy encourages the release of endorphins in the brain. This will give you a feeling of pleasure and happiness which can easily and sometimes instantly uplift your mood.
Emotional intimacy is sharing a closeness that’s exclusive to both of you. It involves sharing of feelings, listening, and extending support and understanding to the other person. The more you practice intimacy, the more it becomes a part of a relationship which further cements your bond.
Lift Each Other Up
Failures in other aspects of our lives are inevitable. Maybe it has something to do with work or personal growth. Whatever it is, make sure that your partner knows that they can rely on you NO MATTER WHAT. If they’re feeling unsure about themselves, if they’re feeling insecure, let them know that you are there and that they will always be wonderful. Don’t skimp on the compliments because positive talk does wonders to lift people up. Let them know that they will always be more than their failures. Offer help if they’re receptive and ask them how else you can make them feel better.
An old study once stated that laughing helps increase the pain threshold of a person. Now, a current study stated that the more two people laugh together, the more they will like each other and trust each other. These things prove that laughter is something that couples have to invest in. You might be wondering how, since laughing isn’t something you can force. But there are ways you can laugh together to foster your relationship. Watch a funny movie or stand-up comedy shows together and have the time of your life.
Learn to Apologize
This is one of the most important requirements in a relationship. Asking for forgiveness isn’t a weakness. It’s actually proof that you value the relationship more than you do being right all the time. Of course, this is given that you are in the wrong. Apologizing for the sole purpose of patching up is also isn’t healthy for your relationship. When you do this you are simply burying issues without addressing them first.
Don’t forget that a fight won’t just end with an apology. You need to talk about what happened, the details of the quarrel, and how you both felt the whole time. These things will allow you to respond better to potential issues in the future and prepare you to tackle problems without hurting each other.
Set Common Goals
Relationships are fun when you truly love the person you’re with. But living day to day without regard for the future also isn’t healthy for both of you. It’s important for you to set goals and work your way to that goal. A lot of relationships end because of a long-term feeling of uncertainty with regards to the direction of the relationship. Imagining a future and working your way towards that future is one way to make your partner feel secure.
Need Help With Your Relationship?
The tips we mentioned above are just some of the things you can do to ensure success in your relationships. If you feel like doing it on your own is harder than you originally thought, you may want to consider couples counselling. Here at Daftein, we can help you through our relationship coaching program. If you’re looking for relationship coaching in the UK, we’re more than happy to give you a hand. Get in touch with us to schedule an appointment today.