Poor Communication Can Destroy Relationships

If you find that communicating with your significant other causes more problems than it solves, your relationship may suffer from poor communication. Healthy communication patterns include staying positive, limiting and managing anger, and active listening. A good communication style is vital for the longevity and quality of your relationship, and you and your partner should make a conscious effort to communicate effectively. And aside from the literal words we use, we also unconsciously share through nonverbals like facial expressions and body language, the delivery of the message through the tone of our voice, and our behaviour. 

Being on the same page is a crucial aspect of the relationship. The lack of communication can hinder the growth of the relationship and harbour resentment in the long run if there is a disconnect in the communication style with the people you have a relationship with.

Examples of A Relationship Lacking Communication

It’s not easy to pinpoint the exact scenario where people can say that a relationship is already lacking healthy communication. Due to the lack of communication, individuals may start doing things purposely to get on each other’s nerves, blaming each other for everything and not complying with rules or requests and engaging in problematic behaviours. 

Some examples include: 

  • Defensiveness; 
  • Passive aggression; 
  • Inability to compromise; 
  • Being inconsiderate about each other’s emotions during an argument; 
  • Many unresolved arguments; 
  • Criticising or belittling each other; 
  • Giving/ receiving less attention;
  • Lack of intimacy;
  • Escalated conflict;
  • A negative perspective of your partner;
  • Turning away from each other’s attempts to connect; 
  • Feeling unseen or unknown
couple on a couch having an argument

How Does Poor Communication Affect Your Relationships

Miscommunications don’t happen overnight. People must be given time to express their emotions in a relationship; if they can’t, a healthy relationship can go downhill fast.

Couples who don’t learn to communicate consciously will face issues regarding intimacy, conflict, and relational growth in the long run. Understanding your partner’s inner world and having them know yours is pivotal to genuine connection. If you struggle to communicate in a way that evolves your relationship, then over time, you will find that you grow apart.

Lack of communication in relationships can’t be ignored, especially in situations where you actively feel like you can’t communicate with your partner. If conflicts are not resolved, it can lead to irreconcilable differences.

  • With increased conflict and argumentative behaviour, individuals may start blaming each other for everything and not complying with rules or requests. 
  • People in a relationship that lacks communication may have difficulty understanding each other. This causes confusion, misunderstandings, and misinterpretation. 
  • When people feel as though they cannot talk to their significant other about their emotions, it causes them to feel alone. This feeling tends to make the person distance themselves and seek understanding elsewhere. 
  • When there is little communication, it is easy to read into everything a little too much. It may become harder to see the positive sides of your relationship, which builds a barrier between two people. 
  • Emotional stress may cause people in a relationship to feel unmotivated regarding their individual and relationship goals. And when two people are not on the same page, it will be challenging to set and reach goals. In turn, the relationship will suffer without growth and cause them to be estranged. 
  • People who don’t communicate often neglect other aspects of the relationship, like intimacy and personal connection. It could leave the partners feeling unwanted and unhappy.
unhappy couple not talking to each other

Solving Communication Gaps

The first step in assessing the situation is acknowledging the problem. You can be proactive by improving your general communication skills. Consider your body language, your tone of voice, be honest, find the right time and do it face to face. Once you have these skills mastered, it may be necessary to look deeper into what could be causing the problem. 

Practical communication skill for successfully resolving conflicts is to address only one issue at a time and avoid introducing other topics that may spiral to other problems, even if they are related. Be patient and understanding in specifying what you are concerned about, even if it takes some time to isolate the primary issue at hand. 

Effective verbal and nonverbal communication involves making appropriate eye contact, not using threatening physical actions, and verbally expressing how the situation makes you feel, instead of attacking or accusing the other person. To listen effectively, make sure you understand what the other person is trying to say, restating that person’s thoughts and feelings are valid. 

  • Look for meta-emotion mismatch: This is when people may feel differently about feelings. One person may think it is essential to express emotions to stay healthy, whereas others may think it unnecessary. It may be difficult for couples to communicate if they have a meta-emotion mismatch, but it is still important to try and explore how both of you feel about emotions. 
  • Address previous problems that haven’t been solved: An event in the past may have hurt the relationship. If this problem has not been resolved, it could cause a lack of communication. To move forward in the relationship, you may be required to look back and find a solution to a current or past issue before moving forward. It is crucial to find out why your partner is not communicating with you or vice versa. 

When all else fails, couples can seek professional help with relationship coaching. Professionals can correctly pinpoint the gaps and suggest practical strategies to mend the relationship.

Growing With Relationship Coaching

Communicating effectively is the key to a healthy relationship. God is love and He wants every human being to resolve their issues with love. Love is kind, peaceful, and gentle, with a great deal of self-control. The elements of love, will help you communicate effectivelyUltimately you will achieve a healthy loving relationship. 

All relationships need to have a healthy level of positive communication. Engaging in counselling will help you work through the communication block and become better people. This is the only way to resolve issues in your relationship and build and make your bond stronger. If you and your partner cannot resolve the issue between the two of you, you might want to take the next step and consult a professional and avail of relationship coaching even online.  Lets Talk!

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